Sometimes, I’m madly in love with my husband

and sometimes I’m not. I want to believe this thing called marriage is a treasure. It’s substantially titanic, defiant exterior is not easily chiseled away. It has to be constantly addressed. Sometimes both sides work together. Sometimes each side takes turns. Sometimes one does everything. Sometimes neither cares.

If the roughness is chipped away, I like to believe at the center is the paragon of beauty: love. Sometimes, I’m madly in love with my spouse. I get a glimpse of the brilliance under the tar. I feel its dynamism. I’m drawn ever so close.

Sometimes he is everything I despise.

Right now I’m madly in love with him. Is that his doing? Mine? How does my perspective of him change? Is Time liable? Is Perception? Intuition? Hope?

No way it’s reality. So much that stacks up against us. It’s not familiarity either. I recognize that. I think by recognizing the possibility of any one of these larger notions’ role in our relationship somehow discredits its responsibility.

There’s something more. The thing that binds. And it can not be a thing I can ascribe to whenever I wish. I’ve tried that in the darkest hours and it’s nowhere to be found. But, it’s ridiculously powerful. Addicting.

I love being madly in love with my husband and hope to remember this taste when I am excruciatingly alone next to him in days to come.

And you?


16 thoughts on “Sometimes, I’m madly in love with my husband

  1. 25 years in a few weeks. While there are days he drives me crazy, deep down we have a mutual respect and admiration for each other. He makes me a better me.

    • Congratulations! I think that’s the ultimate gauge: Does he/she make me a better person…even if the method by which it is done may be aggravating. (? or . there, not sure.)

  2. It’s a process that changes. If you did not have the bad you would not appreciate the good. It’s like only feeling hard makes you really aware of the soft.

    • Yeah, I guess we have to embrace the bad with the hope the good is right around the corner. Just want others to see marriage is everything they’ve heard – horrible and marvelous, if only they can hold on.

  3. “alone next to him” : I totally get that. My wife and I wax and wane in our relationship to each other. Maybe that’s a good thing. There are times when we can be emotionally attached at the hip, and times when we can be emotionally on different planets. Hip times are usually fun, planet times can go either way… Breathing. Seasons. Cycles. It’s probably healthy. And not so different from the arrivings and leavings of any creative muse. Gives us the opportunities to be both a couple and individuals.

    I am reminded of a lyric from an old Rush song: :”Just between us, I think it’s time for us to realize, the spaces in-between leave room for you and I to grow.”

    • I like this perspective. The union of two is tough as nails – in the positive and the negative. There’s a temporary dying but then resuscitating of the self. I’m finally coming up for air. Thanks for the comments. Thought-provoking! Congratulations on your marriage.

  4. These emotions….are as real as it gets. It is beautiful and sad which is how I think it is supposed to be. I have been with my husband 22 years and when I look back at all the *&#@ we have gotten through it makes for one heck of a juicy story. I have and always will love my husband but I definitely don’t always like him 🙂

  5. Reminds me o the time when our youngest went off to college. We were home alone with little to say to each other. Strangers, in a way. We have since rediscovered each other and the beauty of “us”.

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