I’ve come to a place where I can detach myself from both the good and the bad that stirs around me, insomuch as I can choose when and how to intercede, understanding the effects are limited to the principal’s will. It kind of sucks. It outwardly appears and feels powerless. Mentally, I know it’s a means of developing inner fortitude.
I’m talking about participating in others’ ups and downs. For some, there’s a seemingly endless downward spiral. They are devoid of common sense and rationality, at least to the naked eye. I can bang them on the head with advice or imply a whisper to no avail. This is when that sense of detachment helps me get through it. I wonder if that’s strength, or is it a sign of weakness?
It’s been considered as a lack of empathy by others. I have to dispel that myth. I very much empathize with the principals, but I don’t condone their actions. The degree to which the principals are self-destructing can vary from hard-headed and illogical beliefs to addiction. I guess I wonder when it’s necessary to become the principal’s shadow, when to dig the claws in and insist? It doesn’t work, right? Should we try?
Everyone’s eager to jump on board when someone succeeds. Everyone wants to take credit. At minimum, many are willing to accept the principal’s gratitude. Yes, it’s easy to pretend to be an active member in another’s fortunes. What about their misgivings?
I am currently weighing my concerns over two beautiful people I know and love: one who is deliberately ignoring the obvious and horrible to grasp at an elusion of happiness, the other who is happy despite facing a life-threatening illness. I am carefully protecting my queen on the chess board of moves with the former and surrendering her to the latter. Am I capable of changing their fate? I feel not so much with the former, but somehow ABSOLUTELY with the latter. Ha! Ridiculous, right?
Then, when I do that detachment thing, I look at them both and think it’s so darned frustrating. I have to dive in. But how? And who is ultimately to blame/credit?
I don’t mean this to be a discussion on self-importance. I see it more as a discussion on how, when, why to intervene in the lives of others. Is the general rule to act or to allow? Is either one more right or wrong?
I personally think there are a variety of answers to this, but I’d love to start the dialogue. (Oops, guess I just acted, but will then allow.)